You Give Mom A Bad Name
August 16, 2009 by Deb · 21 Comments
I’m a Mommy blogger. Yep. I am. Proud of it. I work with some GREAT mommies every day, But…there’s just something that needs to be said.
There’s an ill wind blowing in the Mommy Blog community. Reporters, television media, radio and even NPR have weighed in. Unfortunately, the stir, begun by the mention of the FTC’s proposed regulations on bloggers, became the FTC’s plans to bring mommy blogs down. If you’ve read the proposed regulation, the new FTC guidelines say that blog authors should disclose when they’re being compensated by an advertiser to discuss a product. The whole brewhaha goes back a few years at least as far as I can find.
Back in 2007, the FTC wrote:
…requiring disclosure when consumers are paid to talk about a product. Last month, the FTC staff issued a response letter agreeing that when marketers pay consumers to advocate for products by word of mouth, such payment generally must be disclosed. Rather than setting out new guidelines, however, the letter pointed out that word-of-mouth marketing is covered by the Commission’s existing Endorsements and Testimonials Guides. The Guides require disclosure of material connections between a marketer and an endorser, that is, connections that might affect the weight or credibility of what the endorser says. This stems from the common sense principle that when advertisements feature the opinions of consumer endorsers, consumers expect the endorsers to be independent from the advertiser, unless they’re told otherwise.
Maybe, I’m not able to read plain english anymore, but no where in there do I see the phrase mommy blogger, mom blogger, mom or anything vaguely related. I do see the terms consumers and word of mouth and endorsement. Now, I’ll leave you to draw your own education from the FTC documents, and your own lawyer.
My point in bringing this all to light, again, is that Mommy Bloggers have been vilified. From the Newsweek article (that was almost kind to Stephanie Precourt) to the Wall Street Journal article that stopped only a hair short of condemning Jessica Smith for her endorsement of Ford, EASports and Wal Mart, the media has taken advantage (albeit unfair) of the power that Mommy bloggers hold as a demographic and thus, have placed them(the Moms) in the line of fire. Evidence of just how far media will go to jump on the bandwagon, happened recently as Chicago reporter, Dorothy Parker of CBS 2, exposed the “Secrets of Mommy Bloggers”. Secrets? What the heck. The blogger who was interviewed for this segment, was clearly not ready for the interview and was unaware of what the total implication of the segment would be. The media, in this event at least took advantage of that. Bad news for CBS2. (but that’s another post).
The media seems on a feeding frenzy right now, spurred by chumlike press releases on blackouts, paid endorsements and secrets. Comments that run the gammut of telling mommy bloggers to go take care of their children to comparing them to Bridezilla. (Lets don’t forget the Gawker article that implored bloggers to NOT blog for free).
Here are a couple of suggestions to start with:
- Stop giving bad interviews, don’t allow the media to prey on your inexperience, and willingness to jump at their every beckon. If you don’t know, say you don’t know. Don’t go headlong into explaining all the ins and outs of your personal business if you don’t want it measured, exploited and spread. If you’re paid for your endorsements, of course disclose them. But, since when is it necessary to expose your “nakedness” to the world? Its not. If you don’t control the interview, the reporter will. I can guarantee you won’t be happy with the outcome.
- Stop dropping chum for the Media to latch on to. I know you’re all very proud of the work you do. Proud of your blogs, your accomplishments and justifiably so. But women, and I’m using women here and not mommy bloggers, desended on Chicago recently for the Blogher event. There were, understandibly a large number of mommy bloggers in that group. The immediate press, during and following that event were appalling! I didn’t attend, obviously, but the reports of purported attempts at blackmail, to lobby mayhem and naked advertising to the ridiculous reports of “baby hating” vendors, are almost beyond my comprehension. (mind you I warned of the mouse that roared, pre-Blogher).
- Write good press-releases about substance. If you don’t know how to write a press release, ask me or sign up for Joan Stewart’s newsletter and short courses. Stop the insanity.
- Stop whining about PR sending you press releases and opportunities. There’s no need to tweet about a bad pitch. We all get em. I’d be willing to guess you’ve even sent a few. If the opp or the release isn’t what you want or care about, just ditch it. Simple enough. Keep the whining up and soon, PR will fix your problem for you. Your email will be empty. (water seeks its own level remember)
What I am seeing amounts to a few cogent remarks made by Naked PR. And ladies, you might just want to listen up here..
BlogHer wasn’t the issue alone. The PR Blackout wasn’t the issue alone. It was the hypocritical combination of moving from “PR people suck for giving us free shit” to “Gimme, gimme, gimme!” in record time! Again, not all bloggers fall into that group, but I seriously found myself wondering at the time how many of those swag-in-arm mommy bloggers at BlogHer previously decided to spit in the face of the people (and companies) offering them those goodies.
That’s the difference between mommy bloggers and others – bloggers behaving badly, and doing it as a group. I can’t recall the last time I saw people up in arms about other blogger groups who get equally valuable review material. Why? Because they don’t act like self-important snobs who demand more than they can justify deserving – at least not on such a grande scale. They don’t tell PR / marketing people to shove off because they can’t juggle their own responsibilities, and then run back when they want free crap again. They also don’t pretend to have an incredible reach for products they simply want as opposed to those best targeted to their readers.
If you want to be taken seriously, if you want to be shown respect, then begin acting like a professional. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Start today. Its more than placing a badge on your site, (note: I’m full on in support of the Blog with Integrity campaign, just not the button). It’s acting and behaving professionally in all aspects of your blogging business and that my friends is the crux of it. You’ve chosen to make your blog a business. You’ve accepted advertising, endorsement opportunities and more.
And then, for the whole world to see, you negate it all.
To borrow from Bon Jovi- You give MOMMY a bad name. Time to fix it.
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This is why I am not chasing down advertising dollars. I like writing. The end.
Kim, I love reading your blog. Cogent, intelligent and warm. Always a wonderful read. That's what a Remarkable blogger is. I'm so happy to say I know you and your writing. Its on my list for sure!
Fabulously written. I also like the idea of blogging with integrity, but I won't be posting a button. There's something about advertising honesty that makes me question it. It's a personal issue.
At our site, content is king, but we aren't opposed to advertising, either. We choose giveaways that we hope interest our readers, but that's just the icing on our cake.
Heather, clearly I accept advertising. Not opposed to it at all. I work in PR/Publcity, its my business. I do disclose. In any number of ways. For me at least, content is prime. What I make off any advertising is no one's business but mine. I won't be sharing information of that nature with anyone but my banker and my lawyer who gets more than his fair share. (just kidding) but seriously. The remainder or I should say prime issue is professionalism. Something I am ethically and morally bound to.
Amen! I just waded through the FTC recs and the WOMMA response as well and found that not only does it make perfect sense, but most of us are already following their recommendations. And I also did not see any direct mention of mom bloggers and only one implied mention. I gave two interviews last week: one in which I felt comfortable and spoke openly and one in which I had to refuse to disclose my exact income four times. Neither has gone to print yet, but I hope that both will buck the trend of villifying bloggers. In general I have been far more upset by the behavior of the “old media” than by the actions of bloggers, though some bloggers clearly leave us shaking our heads and concerned about guilt by association.
For me, at least, its the Britney effect. If you strip yourself naked, don't be surprised at the press that follows. And yeah, I spend most of my days recently, shaking my head and wondering.
Thank you for voicing this so clearly.
I will admit, I have occasionally tweeted about a really really bad pitch, but I do it to expose the behavior (and hopefully get a laugh), not to embarrass or bully the people behind it, so I make sure to give no identifying info.
I've been bullied into silence on a few issues, and it irks me that the bullies are getting more and more opportunities, followers, and readers.
we all get bad pitches, I get em from both sides.Promoting even not by name that you get good ones, gets much further, trust me. (Pavlov and the dogs, remember?) I hate that you've felt bullied. You'll never feel that way here.
Amen Sista!!! I too am one that will only blog with integrity. I love to write and share my knowledge and experiences with others…no need to chase down PR peeps or expose myself for notoriety. Thanks for the great post as always.
Good advice!
Great post! I blog with integrity and didn't have a problem posting the badge, partly because I respect the women who started it.I think it's irresponsible for large companies to engage with bloggers for long-terms projects (*cough* Walmart) without giving them media training. By the same token, I would expect those agencies to vet bloggers and not affiliate with bloggers who don't disclose paid reviews and sponsored conversations. While it may seem at first glance that companies want to work with bloggers who spoonfeed readers pre-writeen press releases, really who wants to read that? Or believes it?
Content is King.
Kim, thanks for such an informed response. I’m with you 110%. Honestly the blog with integrity pledge is something I thought didn’t need to be said intitally. I was wrong, it IS needed. As to the badge, that’s just a thing for me. But I love that the ladies that began the promotion are all integral writers and marketers and that they practice what they’re preaching. I wonder how many agencies or companies actually vet bloggers past compete scores. I think that if they took an honest look, perhaps they’d find that there are many other bloggers, than the ones they are using for evangelism, who are honest, sincere, empowered women. And those women are in effect, at this point at least, being ignored. I put out a quick tweet a few days ago and my email inbox overflowed with powerful blogging. (Many, I had read and quite a few I had not). It continues to fill and I am PROUD to say I know these Mommies and can say that they are honest, full of integrity and beautiful writers. Thanks again Kim!
Applause!! Well said, Deb!
Thanks for your kind words.
Okay, Debbie. As usual, you are right on. Though I AM interested as to why you don't like the badge.
I'm just not a big one for 125×125 badges. Call me crazy. Some days I am. Just a personal preference I guess. I visit so many blogs during the week and the "noise" in the sidebars of some is over powering. (caused by all the badges) just a thing with me. Nothing against their badge as it is.
Finally a Mommy blogger (I am trying to bring some dignity back to that name) who can stand up and realize all the crap out there. I know its hard, but it seems that many do not see the true side, or maybe they just do not care.
I just found your blog, and reading through it…I think you have great points. Hopefully people can realize that they can get ahead for THEMSELVES, and not have to be intimidated and forced to think they have to rely on certain groups (cliques) and/or individuals. Too much group thinking going on. That was the point of a blog, I thought, to be able to be yourself and say what you want.
Not all are cut out for the roles they play in the blogosphere, but many need to realize that everyone has their own agenda. So if you dont like it or that person, then deal with it. However, like in life, if you talk about someone behind their back or to their face, dont expect people to stay quiet.
Thanks Del. I’m guessing that most of my insight comes from being, well a little older. Older than most of the mom bloggers out on the net and more experienced in the real world of business and in general. I’ve always spoken from the bottom of my feet, I’ve never minced words. Its both a blessing and a curse. But then again, I’ve never been one that “had” to be liked by everyone. Love me or hate me, I’m just me. And either way, is fine, honestly. I do despise the two faced cliques and high school behaviour I’ve seen all too often. And those I thought , when they initially sprang into the blogging world, held promise, have proven otherwise. I won’t go into my thoughts on that quite yet, but thank you for your comment, thank you for reading and I certainly hope you’ll be a regular!