The Audacity of Blogging

Caution is a disease that affects almost everyone. From politicians, to generals and yes, even bloggers. Most of us don’t want to offend anybody.  Its been said that even the great novelist E.L. Doctorow wouldn’t publish some of his stories until “certain” relatives had died. He wrote fiction! So, when thinking about the notes I might put into my current work, I’ve come up with the following humorous, but not so lighthearted disclaimer.

Some identifying characteristics of persons mentioned or portrayed, and some names have been changed or even obscured to prevent divorce, hate and repudiation as well as to keep them from killing or suing me.

A little over the top you say? Well maybe. But, if you’re a first person blogger, there seriously are ways to keep the spark in your writing and soften the blows. And in doing so, avoid hurt feelings, loss of employment, abhorrence, divorce and friends who will never speak to you again.

1. Write. Lots of bloggers stress out, making themselves almost insane with fear before they’ve ever written a word. All this pre-angst is virtually unnecessary because as we all know, “most first person narratives suck”. If yours sucks, nobody’s going to read it. Its far easier to do the work, before fretting about it. Problems will only arise if your writing is spectacular. If you’re blogging for free, don’t post pages full of bile and venom about a horrible breakup without first getting feedback from someone with a more judicious outlook, someone removed personally from the situation, or someone with a legal degree.
2. Get over wanting to be the “popular” kid.  If its your goal solely to be nice, hold hands with all your best bloggy friends, sing a chorus of kumbaya and go write a cookbook. Or don’t blog. Principles of good journalism (and after all blogging is a form of it) require a healthy dose of cynicism. To be accused of cranking out acres of nothing but PR “sweetness” and “light” can be quite an insult to even a freshman blogger. Look at it this way. Would you rather be known for being a revealing,candid, authentic blogger, or, be called a really nice, story teller?
3. Analyze. Sometimes, when you’re writing a personally revealing entry, it becomes appropriate or even necessary to show your article to the real-life versions of the persons you’ve depicted.  Let them read what you’ve written. Let them edit you if they feel its necessary. For example in my own blog, I use pseudonyms for all of my family, except myself. I am very mindful and still am careful about publishing entries which might offend them or be just plain “wrong” in their opinion. The same can be said about work and other business relationships. Don’t trash someone because you’re angry and rush that post to publication.
4. Paper Roses. Personal, from the heart pieces are in finality about you. No one else. Take into account the other person(s) desire not to be mentioned. They might not mind your gut wrenching honesty if they’re not personally outed in the process. Its easy enough to drop specific references and make re-writes before you hit the publish button. Don’t simply assume that everyone wants to be written about and will appreciate your “honest” portrayal.
5. Consult a professional. Be clear with your motives. Revenge, raging anger or the desire to equally humiliate or worse aren’t good reasons for post publication. Remember, you won’t be able to fully ever retract what you say. If you think your spouse, kids, mom, dad or siblings might be uncomfortable, confounded, confused or just plain mortified by what your are about to potentially publish, think about whether its worth the pain it would cause you and/or your family.
6. The facts, just the facts. The legal eagles out there will tell you that in order to win a lawsuit a plaintiff must prove that a writer (blogger) lied with malice and they must of course prove the damages. No, I’m not a lawyer, and I don’t play one on television. If you have doubts about anything, consult the proper legal counsel. Personally, I’m a notorious pack rat. I save pictures, emails, articles, diary entries, letters…anything that can substantiate my memories.
7. Physician heal thyself. No body wants to read a “poor poor pitiful me” post, let alone respond to it. Question your own motives and actions, challenge yourself and even trash yourself before you hit that publish key. Once you’ve finished writing your post, save it. Hold off until you’re really ready for the fallout. Maybe you’ll end up posting and deal with what comes or maybe you’ll decide not to post at all. The act of putting your angst or honesty into type is quite cathartic in and of itself.

It takes more than courage to be a first person blogger.  But giving shape to issues, and putting your own personal stamp on them is more than part of the reason you’re blogging. Isn’t it?

This post is submitted at ProBlogger as part of the August Group Writing Project, Killer Titles